It have been 35 months. We've been ups and downs.
Till today, I am still asking myself why do i accept to be your gf.
Do I really like you? I do not know the answer.
But i know that you are the first to ask me and I do not wan to miss the right person for me. So I decided to try.
Through these 35 months, after getting to know u and the times together, I also discover the other side of me which i dislike.
I dislike myself of being bad temper, unreasonable and throw my temper everywhere.
I hate myself.
I know you like me and I do like you now.
But beside all these, we both know that there are just something we will not agree on and it will become our obstacles in the future.
The value of money, our place to live and marriage.
There are alot of things that we need to consider before moving on to the next stage of life.
We are too stubborn,
I still remember what David had said about us.
"You are both too stubborn."
Every time when we quarrel, my mind is telling me what i should do to resolve the situation even though some time is not my fault. But my mouth just cant stop hurting you and too stubborn to say out the most important words.
I always cannot stand you for being so straight forward till I'm embarrassed.
You can criticism the people even in front of them. I totally cannot stand it.
I do not need you to feel the same with me.
But I hope you can at least hug me and sayang me.
Not keep asking questions and doubt what i am saying. Even if I am lying, all because I want you to care and notice me.
I like you and will always think of you.
Good night.

at-ease
6:04 PM

It's April 2010.
And it's a bad start for me...
First day of April (April's Fool), food posioning.
And the next day is my birthday. I was intend to have a celebration.
But i was lying at home for the rest of the day.
Then after my exam on 16 April, I was contacted with Hand, Foot & Mouth disease. Having high fever and went for exam.
(Just hope that the exam is at least a pass for me.)
Then till today, i'm still stuck at home.
I was in pain and hardly eat anything. But today is the last day, i hope i will fully recover and go back to my work.
I'm so bored at home and this is the first time, i wish to go out....

I will be going to Taipei on 29th April till 02nd May.
I hope this will be a trip that help me to relax and find the path for my future.
加油！

at-ease
5:35 PM

Hello everyone!
Have not been update my life in this blog but i have not forgotten about it.
of course, i;m busy with my work and studies @ the same time.
And of course family life and personal life. Family, friends and many more.
I believe everyone have their own secret and would like to keep it to their heart. I had too. I wanna it to be just between me and myself, so I told no one.
Ok. I was actually wanting to say I want to start afresh. with my life, my family my friends and my colleagues.
I realized I had changed over these few years. If you are my friend, you should have realize it too.
But from today onwards, I wan to change back to the person who I was previously. I liked the person I used to be. Kind-hearted and not-so bad temper.
I starting to hate the Current ME. I wan to change!
I hope in this New tiger year, I will be able to change!!
Wish me luck! ^-^

at-ease
1:02 AM

It's has been a week.
And I think I'm getting better le.
I can better understand myself and trying veyr hard to control my temper.
Realised that my temper is really v. v. BAD...
:P Those around me, thanks for staying through all these tough time with me.
I know it's been hard to you.
I'm sick today and had sleep at home for the whole day.
Had a v v GOOD rest.
And my deardear come visit me.
I was so touched~ Thanks deardear. You are so sweet.
Thanks for visiting...
I wish you will pass all your exam from now on!

Ok... now is 11.30pm. Got to go sleep le...Night...

at-ease
11:16 PM

It have been weeks that we are on the rock? Who is responsible for this?

Am I tooo sensitive over this issue?
You have too many female colleagues and girlfriends.
I'm feeling very insecure.
You tole me I should know I'm different from them...
How different?
Time you spent with them is more than me.
They are the ones going through all the tough time.
What about me?

You are telling me we should give each other our own space.
I have been asking for that one year before.
But you don understand.
I went out with my friends, and you got angry with me.
You even show me your very black face in front of my friends and colleagues, when i missed a few missed call from you.
And now what happen?
You promise to go left at 9.30pm, but cause your friends insisted you have to finish the majong, you let me waited till 11.30pm.
You know how i feel?
I wanted to left that house right away...
And you blame me for showing black face to you.
Is that fair?

I need you to understand how i feel NOW...
Not another 2 years later.
I don have much time left.
Please, I just hope you can SERIOUS think more mature and tell me "Am I the one for you?"

If no, I will continue to move on to search for my one.

My time is running out.
Please change for me...

at-ease
9:49 AM

What if...

Do we always have choices in life?
We are always wondering what if... what if...

I am feeling very tired and emotional.
What has happened? Can anyone tell me what has happened?

Can I just let go everything?
Hanging on to it is very tiring....

Anyone can help me?

"Can you help me? Charlotte."
"Hmm.." ^-^
how innocent reply from Charlotte...

I hope everything can return to the past and nothing happened.
OR can time just stop right here?

atease~

at-ease
7:51 PM

What is the most important thing when choosing a partner?

The Look
The Feeling
The Character
The Behaviour
The Family Background
The Wealth
The ... blah blah blah blah... and so on...

Do you really think all these matter?
I never thought that you really mind...
I am disappoint to hear what you said.
It bring me to think... Are we really suitable?
I know I have been very unreasonable and annoying...
You have been good to me.

But I am really considering... the feeling and alot of things have changed.
2 years of being together... I enjoyed and treasured every moment. And I know you had sacrificed alot for me.

I'm sorry.

at-ease
12:28 AM

1. Laptop
2. HP
3. Sport shoes
4. Bagpack(for school)
5. A mp3 w sound recorder or just a sound recorder (for school)
6. Spectacles
7. Rebond my hair
8. A digital watch(sport)
9. Good health of my family
10. Passing of my exams~
11. a makeup set w makeup remover
12. birthday cards w old memories!
-End-

at-ease
3:36 PM